S4: Ep 5 - Emily Cherkin, The Screentime Consultant on kids and screens post-Covid
I don’t know about all of you, but my kids are locked in a struggle with an addiction to screentime. Covid made it exponentially worse to be sure. There was SO MUCH TIME AT HOME. In order to get any headspace, screens were just the first place many of us went. But now that we’re out of lockdown, somehow, these devices have a hold on my kids’ brains and its’ all they want. I justify it to myself all the time - “they’re tired…they need a break..they need to socialize through video games…” You name it, I’ve said to to make myself feel better. But slowly, all around me, my son’s friends are getting iPhones, Apple watches, and all sorts of devices that scare me a whole lot. I feel like I’m on a precipice of technology that I’m not ready for - and in my heart of hearts - I don’t think my kids are ready for it either.
I’m a part of our school’s Parent Board - this will circle back - stay with me. And as a part of our conversations about parent education events for our school community, one topic we keep coming back to revolves around kids and screens. Turns out I’m not the only one terrified of cell phones and social media. One parent is so passionate about educating people about the dangers of social media, she connected me with one of her contacts - Emily Cherkin, The Screentime Consultant - talk about a business that thrived during and after Covid. Emily’s job is to counsel families on how to become tech-intentional. She’s made a business out of helping families figure out how to put their phones down and function more efficiently. Coming out of this pandemic - we need her now more than ever.
It turns out that Emily is my neighbor. She lives less than a mile from me and we had never met. She has been on the Today Show - twice - Good Morning America, and has written for The New York Times. Emily is an activist, a mom, and an expert on being not anti-tech, but tech intentional…we’ll learn all about that.
Emily and I had one of the most thought provoking conversations I’ve had in a very long time. If you are someone who has concerns and questions about whether or not to toss your child into the world of social media, don’t move. You need to hear this. Emily says at the beginning of all her talks begin with her saying, “Just breathe through it. Don’t freak out, and do your best not to judge yourself or other parents. “
Ride the wave of this episode…we’ll all be better for listening and you’ll come out of it with practical tips you can start applying today.
So admittedly, I feel really lucky that I haven't’ given my 4th grader a phone or watch. I”m taking Emily’s advice deeply to heart and will continue to delay delay delay for as long as I possibly can - this might the toughest path, but I feel like it’s right for our family. I can’t help but wonder if the pendulum is going to start swing this way - towards more conservative social media rules, but I don’t know…as adults we have to curb our own behavior and I have to wonder if Instagram has a more powerful pull on us than we realize. Are we going to be able to moderate our own online behavior for our children? Will we wake up and realize that this is actually horrible for all of us, the way we did to cigarettes? Time will tell. In the meantime, I’m sheltering my kids from online FOMO for as long as humanly possible. I’ve been burned and depressed about things I’ve seen on Insta more times than I care to name. As much as I want to believe it doesn’t affect me - it most certainly does. I’ve narrowed my usage to my podcast IG, which ironically, I feel like I can be most fully myself on. I’ve curated a feed that uplifts and inspires me - and doesn’t include a lot of my friends in real life for this exact reason. The more I know what people around me are doing - the more I feel like I’m not doing enough. And I already feel like I’m not doing enough!!! I just want to laugh, feel body positive, and find content I love like…pandas. Goats…dogs doing things…things I can show my kids. But I’m 43 years old - I’ve learned how to block out the FOMO. And after my chat with Emily, it’s so clear that I can’t expect my 10 year old to regulate these really complex feelings when I am still working on perfecting this skill as a 43 year old. I’ll let you know it goes, but for now, I’m including my kids in my tech use by living more out loud, and trying to put my phone down at night. Baby steps.
You can find Emily at The Screentime Consultant and her YouTube Channel.
Thank you once again to my sponsors - Jon Grus and Element Mortgage, and Johnson and Walker Real Estate