S3:ep 7 - Dr. Kate Monahan,PhD, CFLE on how to be a relaxed mom
Today’s topic deals with the one thing that has been literally in front of my face non-stop for the last 18 months. My children.
I have two kids aged 10 and 6, and the pandemic has brought me and many of us the very unique challenge of having no distance from our kids. They are with us all of the time and with that comes the stress of constant parenting. I personally feel very drained by the last few months of summer. I find myself short, super limited on patience and so worried that I’m damaging my kids somehow by setting some pretty strict limits and then having to enforce them.
My anxiety is for sure creeping back because I have no headspace - or physical space - to think quietly and organize. The word “mom” has now become something I dread hearing 100,000 times every day because it means I have to fill a need. Someone’s needs, no matter how small, require some piece of my attention to fill and I’m exhausted and stressed.
Enter Doctor Kate. Dr. Kate Monahan Phd, CFLE is a Developmental psychologist and an expert in childhood development. Her company Parent With Science is dedicated to helping parents through their journey with advice based in science, not trends or Google. Her instagram @parentwithscience is an awesome follow. She’s done all the research for us and tries to pass along what works for kids from a scientific perspective. Her straightforward advice is usually dead on.
She just wrote a book called “How to Be a Relaxed mom - the three secrets to avoid modern mom stress and raise great kids.” Dr. Kate, I need you now. And so do all of us. This is a conversation for everyone - moms, dads, anyone who is with a child and needs someone on their team to give them actual practical strategies, no judgement, and a high five. This is a longer conversation than usual because I didn’t want to cut anything out. We ended up flipping the mics back on to talk about adolescents and I’m also going to do a follow-up.
We get real about our own experiences, and honest about our struggles. Please enjoy and my greatest hope is that you take something away from this that will help you on your parenting journey.
Yes. I’m a parent that has a problem not yelling at my kids. But I’m working on it and talking about with my kids. I’m actively trying to be better and at the end of the day, isn’t that what life is about? At this current moment in time, I’m honestly struggling with the thought that what I’m doing is impacting my kids and it’s not very relaxing at all.
Thank you so much Dr. Kate for coming on and doing your damndest to support us parents that are feeling the edge of this last year. I’ve been applying these strategies, albeit imperfectly, for the last couple of weeks, and I’d be lying if I said it’s not making a difference in my house, even in small ways. The biggest thing for me is to come back to my values, apologize, and try to recoginze my own emotions before I explode. The mommy time out is invaluable, I’m learning.
Buy her book here
Book sessions with her here: